Rabbit Disaster Plan

Turns out you got to square things with the gummint.

Washington’s reach now extends into a place that — as far as the audience knows — does not exist. That would be the hidden “load chamber” inside Marty the Magician’s hat. Where Casey the licensed rabbit waits for his cue.

“Our country’s broke,” Hahne said. “And yet they have money and time to harass somebody about a rabbit.”

Hahne is a slight man with the stage persona of an exuberant doofus — he seems constantly surprised by his own tricks. He’s been doing magic shows full-time for 27 years, on cruise ships and on land. That means he’s experienced most of the troubles a magician can expect: Overexcited kids who wet themselves after he brought them onstage. A shipboard drunk who threw up on his props. A rabbit so mean it growled.

But he did not expect the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

“She said, ‘Show me your license.’ And I said, ‘License for . . .?’  ” Hahne recounted. This was after a 2005 show at a library in Monett, Mo. Among the crowd of parents and kids, there was a woman with a badge. A USDA inspector. “She said, ‘For your rabbit.’ ”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/watch-him-pull-a-usda-mandated-rabbit-disaster-plan-out-of-his-hat/2013/07/16/816f2f66-ed66-11e2-8163-2c7021381a75_story.html

Nice that the USDA has time to watch over the welfare of magically hatted rabbits.

Too bad it has no time to monitor food-chain safety, ethanol boondoggles, or the multiple malfeasances of agribusiness.

No bunnies were harmed in the posting of this image

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Doctor Justice’s Petting Zoo has just been served with such a warrant.

So, here, in accordance with regulation 9356(B) of HR3444(G), is my Plan, in the event of a Rabbit Disaster:

runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun!!!

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