Saturday, April 7, 2012

Dr Justice snared in scandal


While telegrams of congratulation  continued to pour in, celebrating today’s appointment of Dr Justice to the coveted top spot in the Ministry of Tourism of newly-independent Azawad,  one sour note was struck.  An alert journalist recalled this little-noticed post from last year:


Tucked away at the bottom, and scarcely remarked at the time  by the press, was this damning fragment:

Just read a very astute reader's comment to that L.A.Times article:

The Bobblehead Brigade. Romney probably thinks he can be President. The rest are in it to sell books.

Brilliant!   I've got a bunch of books myself to sell, and they haven't exactly been moving.  Accordingly,

 I hereby announce my candidacy 
for President of the United States,
running for the Republican Party.


As of press time, Dr Justice had not announced his withdrawal from the race -- indeed, he has vowed “a floor fight like you’ve never seen”  if need be -- and hence finds himself in the legally perilous position of being simultaneously a candidate for the nation’s highest office, and an open agent of a foreign power.    Getting wind of the word, Nominalists began demanding to see the Doctor’s birth certificate, along with the long form of his "so-called Ph.D."

Reached at his crag-top hideaway,  the Doctor scoffed at the charges.

All of us Republican Presidential candidates are agents of a foreign power.  The difference is that the other candidates are all agents of [name of unnameable nation  redacted] -- unacknowledged agents, moreover, at least on the public square -- whereas I, uniquely, am a publically declared servant of the brave and noble tribesmen of the free and independent Popular Peoples Front for Newly Liberated AZAWAD, whom I am proud to serve.
By the way -- buy my books.”

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